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[Back to index of March 2008 articles] What is the cause of congregational anxiety? By Lucy Chumbley At the 113th Diocesan Convention, the Rev. Peter Steinke, a Lutheran pastor, author and therapist, described the main reasons why congregations flounder or flourish. Steinke, who gave the convention’s keynote address, as well as a workshop entitled Congregations as Emotional Systems, has worked with 27 congregations experiencing some sort of conflict. Most were witnessing a decline in membership, he said, (often due to an aging population) and the resulting financial problems. “Usually congregations don’t pay attention to what’s happening until money stops coming in,” Steinke said. “And then they start blaming each other.” While money (or a lack of it) is most often the cause of congregational anxiety, he said, this anxiety can have many other triggers, such as issues surrounding sexuality or a pastor’s “leadership style.” Other stressors include “old/new” disputes, over new hymnals and service times or a contemporary vs. traditional worship style; “major trauma,” such as clergy misconduct; or “major transitions” such as the departure of key staff. Changes to a church’s worship space also can spark conflict, he said – “we’re highly emotional about it.” Steinke stressed the importance of clergy/congregation compatibility, the need for transitions in leadership to be managed well, and the importance of having good personal boundaries. “I see conflict as an opportunity to learn,” he said. “Too often in the church, we allow behavior that should not even be permitted because we confuse forgiveness with toleration of illness. No emotional system will change unless the people in that system change the way they function with each other. Do you want to waste your anguish and your angst or do you want to use it as a spur or a teacher?” Congregations that are best able to learn and grow are ones with “adequate leadership,” he said, where “the leaders are willing to take a look at things.” They also are congregations with a “pretty clear” sense of their mission, and ones that are “not terrorized by people’s threats of leaving or withholding money.” “There’s always loss with conflict,” he conceded. “But you always lose less than you think you’re going to lose.” Congregations that do not do well are ones with anxious leaders. “Anxiety flows down,” he said. “And when the leadership is highly anxious, it gets to everybody else.” All emotional systems, such as congregations or families, are sensitive to anxiety, he said, and “when we are anxious, we clutch the known.” But like it or not, change is coming, he said – and this is not necessarily a bad thing. “The change that’s going on in our world today isn’t just something for us to bemoan,” he said. “The change is provoking challenge.” These challenges include drawing the current generation of 21 to 45-year-olds into the church. Times have changed, Steinke said, and the major social systems and civic groups that dominated the last century, including the church, are all experiencing a decline in membership. This generation does not seek the same things as their parents, he said, explaining that although they are interested in spirituality, they are not interested in hierarchical organizations and prefer to form looser connections. They are vital to the health of the church, “but we can’t just expect them to come through our doors,” he said. “We have to go out and meet them where they are.” Many new clergy recognize that a change of approach is needed, but have little idea of how to affect it, he said, explaining that the first step is to calm down. “Anxiety flows down,” he said. “So if you are as anxious as the people you serve, you cannot think well. Leaders have to be more responsible than reactive, more thoughtful than jerk-knee, more intentional. That means you have to work on yourself. When there’s anxiousness out there, you need to work on your own anxiety. “You and I are facing change and challenge, and we can do it in a reactive, instinctive way or we can do it in a more calm and thoughtful way. But we’ve got to do something.” Focusing on mission is often the best way to begin. “When the congregation gets a sense of mission it is less conflicted and less reactive,” he said, and if it is not focused on mission it will focus on something – such as the budget. “We need to bring the mission to the message.” “I think laity are saying to clergy, ‘We want you to do more than preach the Gospel and administer the sacraments. We want you to lead the congregation,’” he said. “And that’s an honest cry.” [Back to index of March 2008 articles]
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