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[Back to index of December articles] Writer warns St. Albans boys about drugs By Lucy Chumbley Standing on the podium in the St. Albans School for Boys auditorium, Bo Cox - clad in a tan sports coat and bottle green moleskin trousers - looks just like any other teacher. But the lesson he has come to deliver, a cautionary tale learned while serving a 17-year sentence for murder in an Oklahoma prison, is no ordinary high school subject. Cox, now 42, killed a man in a drunken brawl 20 years ago. While serving his time, he got sober, found God and began to write meditations for the Forward Day By Day series. He recently spent a week at the school at the invitation of the Rev. Will Billow, senior chaplain at St. Albans and fellow Forward Movement advisory board member, talking to the mostly freshman boys about the consequences of alcohol and substance abuse. Now, addressing a roomful of blazer-clad boys at an all-school assembly, he takes them back to 1977, when he was a freshman with a bright future ahead of him, just like them. "I was a freshman and I was an acolyte in the Episcopal Church and I was an honor roll student," he says. "I had goals, I had plans for my life." But by his sophomore year, things had started to go wrong. He was smoking "weed," had started drinking, and "by the time I was a senior I was doing all kinds of things; got out of high school by the skin of my teeth; dropped out of college and ended up killing someone." Of course, Cox says, that will not happen to most people who drink or do drugs. But he wants the boys to understand "on a more real level" what can happen when they make certain choices. "About 1 in 12 people who start drinking will develop a drinking problem," he explains. "Higher than that with substance abuse. That's quite a real, engaging, applicable fact." While most people who abuse drugs or alcohol will not end up serving a sentence for murder, "our prisons are filled up to overflowing with people with drug and alcohol problems," he says. And there is more than one way to be in prison. "Sometimes there are a lot worse prisons than the one I spent 17 years of my life in, and I think some people know that," he says. To avoid stepping onto the slippery slope that leads to abuse or addiction, he says, certain qualities must be cultivated: a good self concept and good self confidence. Personal integrity also is of paramount importance, he says, pointing out that St. Albans has an honor code that prohibits lying, cheating or stealing that all students are expected to uphold. But when it comes to drugs or alcohol, that code can fall by the wayside. "Honesty is part of your school code," he says, looking stern enough to make a few boys shift uncomfortably in their seats. "But when it comes to substance abuse, I doubt that you are [honest] on a very real level." He knows. He has been there. "I would lie, I would cheat, I would duck, I would dodge," he says of his days as a high school alcohol and substance abuser. "It took me a long time to stand up and take responsibility for it." These days, his life is devoted to making up for lost time and making amends. In addition to serving on the board of Forward Movement and studying for his bachelor's degree in Human Relations, Cox works full time as a recreational therapist at the Norman Alcohol and Drug Treatment Center and gives "destructive choices" talks and seminars to groups at churches and schools. When he first arrived at St. Albans, Cox examined the course's previous curriculum, spoke with some seniors to gather their feedback and came to a few conclusions. "Across the board, these guys were really frustrated that the majority of tactics that have been used have been fear based," he says, sitting in the chaplain's office after the assembly. " 'We see through it, No. 1, and we're just really tired of it.' One of the kids just called it mean… I felt confident I could give them something of greater or equal value." That something was open, honest dialogue; imparting an awareness that bad choices have bad consequences; and impressing on the boys that "they are the architects of their life." Things can go wrong, horribly wrong, when you make the wrong choices, Cox says. And though it's always better not to start off down the wrong path, it's never too late to stop. "It's never too late, and I hope, if nothing else, my life stands for that," he says. Contact Lucy Chumbley at lchumbley@edow.org [Back to index of December articles]
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